


The Speedster Who Loved Me

by Swashbuckler



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Brotherly Love, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Movie Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 20:04:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12283443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swashbuckler/pseuds/Swashbuckler
Summary: If Piper is the Q of the Flash family, then who is Bond?





	The Speedster Who Loved Me

“Dude, you’re totally my Q!”

“Hmm?” 

Wally rolled his eyes, nudging the heel of his socked foot against Hartley’s thigh as he spread his legs over his best friend’s lap, eyes still glued to the TV screen. “You listening to me?” 

“Oh, I heard you,” Piper said, mouth twitching in amusement. “Doesn’t mean I was listening though.” 

“Sh, you, you love me,” Wally grinned lazily, nudging Piper’s thigh again as he lay back with his head in Linda’s lap. He beamed up at Linda as she scooped up a few pieces of popcorn from the bowl he had balanced on his stomach, humming happily as she fed them to him. 

Piper coughed pointedly, rolling his eyes as the speedster distracted himself with cheekily sucking Linda’s fingers clean of the sugar they’d drenched the popcorn in. “You were saying something that was more important than listening to Roger Moore and focusing on the movie?” 

“Oh, right, yeah - you’re totally my Q!” Wally chirped.

Piper gave this some thought and nodded slowly. “I make wonderful gadgets and devices to help with heroism - I suppose I am Q,” he smiled a little, taking a handful of popcorn off of Wally’s stomach. Popping a piece into his mouth and letting it melt on his tongue, he glanced at Wally, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “Just one problem with your comparison.” 

“Oh yeah?” Wally asked, shovelling a handful of popcorn into his mouth as he turned his attention back to the TV. 

“That implies you’re Bond,” Hartley said innocently, popping another piece of popcorn into his mouth, smothering a laugh as Wally viciously choked.

“What?! Oh come on, I’m so Bond!” Wally coughed, thumping his chest as he sat up; Piper caught the bowl of popcorn before it spilled everywhere, holding it out of the way. “I’m the city’s hero! Everyone knows who I am! I get all the gir-” Wally bit his tongue, glancing back at Linda and giving her a sheepish grin. “I did and now you’re my favourite and I love you,” he said quickly, pouting his lips to blow her a stream of little kisses as she laughed. 

“While you may boast, Mr West, I still wouldn’t call you the ‘Bond’ of this band,” Hartley snickered. He smiled at Linda. “I’d more say that’s you, actually.” 

“How’s Linda Bond?! IpromiseIloveyouhoneyIjust-” 

“I have more tact, for one thing,” Linda said idly as Wally floundered. 

“I have to agree - and she has more style.”

“Uh, like you can judge, Mr Polka Dots!” Wally challenged, affronted. 

“Hey!”

“He’s not wrong,” Linda added. 

“Hush,” chided Hartley with a giggle. “You’re supposed to be on my side here.”

“Good point,” Linda smiled, turning her attention back to the pouting Speedster between them.

“I swear you two always gang up on me,” Wally muttered to himself. “Come on, I can go all over the world-!”

“Yes, but I’m the one who jetsets all over the world.” 

“But I could do that!”

“And get frustrated by the flight times how quickly?” teased Linda. 

Wally made a loud raspberry, flopping back onto Linda’s lap. “You two are the worst, I should never have let you two meet each other.” Above him over the back of the sofa, Wally missed the little high five between his best friend and girlfriend. 

“Aw, we made him sulk,” cooed Piper, chuckling and setting the popcorn bowl back on Wally’s stomach. 

“Tragic,” groaned Linda with a smile, scratching Wally’s hair lightly.

“Hate you two,” was the grumble they got back in response.

“We love you too,” chimed Linda and Hartley as one. 

 

“So - what do you think?” 

Wally skidded to a halt with a screech, trails of smoke wisping up from the floorboards as he stopped and stared at Linda. 

“Whoa,” he breathed, eyes wide in awe as his gaze slowly slid up from her shining heels and along the sleek lines of the suit hugging her figure. 

“What’s this?” Wally asked innocently, sidling forwards as his hands instantly reached for her waist. 

“Movie night gave me ideas,” Linda shrugged, sliding her hands up Wally’s chest to his shoulders, “and I needed an outfit for this event the Mayor’s attending next week, so I thought - why not go Bond?” 

“Mmm, okay, I take it all back, you’re definitely Bond and I love it,” Wally rambled, giddy grin on his face as he leant in and peppered kisses down her neck.

“I can see that,” Linda grinned, closing her eyes as Wally kissed his way over every bit of skin her open collar would allow him.

“Mmm, so we’ve got Bond-” Wally said breathlessly after kissing Linda eagerly on the lips, “you’ve got your Q, now we’re just missing-” His face lit up excitedly. “Gimme two secs.”

Linda blinked in surprise as Wally zipped off. True to his word, the air had barely settled before Linda’s hair was whipped around her face again as Wally rushed back into the room. She only just caught him as - without warning - he collapsed suddenly into her arms.

“Ohhhh, Ms Bond~! Save me~!” 

Linda blinked, then burst out into a fit of laughter.  
“Where did you- How- What?!” she wheezed. 

“C’mon,” Wally grinned, cracking one eye open, his hand still against his forehead from where he’d swooned dramatically into her arms, “if you’re Bond, you’ve gotta have a Bond girl! It’s practically cinema law.” 

“Ohh, I see,” Linda nodded, bemused and still giggling. “Well, you’ve certainly got the aesthetic of it.” 

“Mhmm,” Wally agreed proudly, lifting one leg to show off the long slit in the shimmery dress that went all the way up to his hip. “Who’s not got style now?” 

“Still you - and Piper,” Linda told him. 

“Oi!” came a distant call from upstairs. “I heard that!”

“Good!” Linda shouted back with a snigger. “So where did you pinch this from?” 

“I don’t need to borrow someone else’s clothes to be fashionable!” Wally scoffed.

“...You borrowed this from James, didn’t you?”

_“Duh.”_

“Wait, you wanted style and you went to the _Trickster?_ ” Linda asked flatly. 

“No, I wanted a dress that’d fit someone six foot tall without curves and James owns _a lot_ of disguises,” Wally corrected her. Linda weighed this up in her mind, then nodded. 

“Fair point.” 

There was a click to their left and both Wally and Linda looked round in surprise: Piper was stood halfway down the stairs, biting his lip as he fought valiantly to stay silent as he snapped a photo of Wally swooning in Linda’s arms like a damsel. 

“Sending to James and Mick and Lisa~” Hartley listed off casually, scrolling through his phone. Wally blanched. 

“Nononono-!” 

Linda cackled, clutching her sides as Hartley bolted for the front door and Wally hitched the hem of the floor-length dress up to his thighs before pelting after him.

Turns out that not only was Wally the Fastest Man Alive, but he was also the Fastest Man Alive in _heels._


End file.
